Dignity
I had a terrible day at work today and everyone knew it. When I get in a mood, I get in a good one. Having to work with certain people and seeing their bad choices how to go through life not withstanding, about 50% of my mood today was focused on my father.
Over the years, I have read and watched certain movies that dealt with terminally ill patients and how they lived the remainder of their lives. Little did I know that that one day I would be in the same situation. You never tend to think about it happening to you or a family member. My father was placed in a rehab facility before he was diagnosed to having his brain tumors. A very short while after he left, he told us stories of how other patients beside himself were talked down too and were not properly cared for. (Something I intend to follow up on one day with possible legal action....I do not forget anything.) After his hospitalization and his return home is when thing in my head really started to gel. I will sit and watch him and see his little eyes pan the room then back at me.....he would make a slight smile and then stare straight ahead. Its not all about how a person deals with his illness but how a person lives his life with the simple thing as dignity. My wife made the remark when he was at the rehab center that he had a sour smell. My Dad always prided himself on keeping himself very clean. He worked a job that required him to be in filth and grime. He would return home from work about 4pm and head straight for the shower and then come out for dinner clean as a whistle. Now its a struggle for him to do the simplest of things. He cannot hardly lift himself, let alone walk. His left arm is paralyzed. Everything he needs or wants he has to helped with. Since he has been moved to hospice care, a male nurse comes to clean him every weekday. My mother has been doing the best she can but it is hard for her to lift him to bathe him. Last Friday, the gentleman came to bathe my Dad. I stepped out of the room to give them privacy. I could overhear the nurse tell my father that he would make him all clean where he wouldnt even know himself. After the nurse finished and left, I went in to see him. My Dad looked so restful. He looked up at me and smiled. Not only are his sanitary concerns better, my father's dignity has been restored.
I really do not know what I am trying to say here. I feel myself rambling. I have had him on my mind all day. I called my mother after I got off work and she said he didnt sleep good last night. He would call out for people who were not there. Sometimes I do not know what to do. However, I do know that he is being taken care of. He is being treated like a human being should in that situation. My father may have a terminal illness, but he also has his dignity. That maybe the most important thing of all of this. I apologize for my rambling post. I just felt I need to write about him since he has been on my mind all day.
Over the years, I have read and watched certain movies that dealt with terminally ill patients and how they lived the remainder of their lives. Little did I know that that one day I would be in the same situation. You never tend to think about it happening to you or a family member. My father was placed in a rehab facility before he was diagnosed to having his brain tumors. A very short while after he left, he told us stories of how other patients beside himself were talked down too and were not properly cared for. (Something I intend to follow up on one day with possible legal action....I do not forget anything.) After his hospitalization and his return home is when thing in my head really started to gel. I will sit and watch him and see his little eyes pan the room then back at me.....he would make a slight smile and then stare straight ahead. Its not all about how a person deals with his illness but how a person lives his life with the simple thing as dignity. My wife made the remark when he was at the rehab center that he had a sour smell. My Dad always prided himself on keeping himself very clean. He worked a job that required him to be in filth and grime. He would return home from work about 4pm and head straight for the shower and then come out for dinner clean as a whistle. Now its a struggle for him to do the simplest of things. He cannot hardly lift himself, let alone walk. His left arm is paralyzed. Everything he needs or wants he has to helped with. Since he has been moved to hospice care, a male nurse comes to clean him every weekday. My mother has been doing the best she can but it is hard for her to lift him to bathe him. Last Friday, the gentleman came to bathe my Dad. I stepped out of the room to give them privacy. I could overhear the nurse tell my father that he would make him all clean where he wouldnt even know himself. After the nurse finished and left, I went in to see him. My Dad looked so restful. He looked up at me and smiled. Not only are his sanitary concerns better, my father's dignity has been restored.
I really do not know what I am trying to say here. I feel myself rambling. I have had him on my mind all day. I called my mother after I got off work and she said he didnt sleep good last night. He would call out for people who were not there. Sometimes I do not know what to do. However, I do know that he is being taken care of. He is being treated like a human being should in that situation. My father may have a terminal illness, but he also has his dignity. That maybe the most important thing of all of this. I apologize for my rambling post. I just felt I need to write about him since he has been on my mind all day.
Posted by Scotty Ice at 1:46 PM:
Dude there is no need to apologize for anything. This is hard time for you and your family, I think you are entitled to ramble all you want, we totally understand.
i haven't had time to read up lately. i hope things are going well. (if you have looked at my blog lately, you'll know why i haven't had time -- i love to waste time AND janie's been sick).
anyway, i'll catch up tomorrow (maybe...we'll see, anyway)
*hugs*
Still checking in, sorry to hear that you and your family are going through such a tough time. As I mentioned before, I'm really proud of the way you are handling it. Keep posting whatever you need to, it can't be easy but at least you have an outlet. Will still be praying for y'all. DQ
Dignity is often the one thing that is forgotten someone has a terminal illness. So much emphasis is put on the basic needs of a person , that sometimes those basic needs overshadow a person's need for self respect, some semblence of control , and the need to feel like a human being. I'm a nurse, so I am well aware of how a patient can be so fed up with all the monotony of feeling like an empty shell that someone is bathing with out so much as eye contact or 'hello'. While providing care to a sick or disabled person is important, what's more important is how it's delivered. Allowing that person to feel like he used to feel when he was able to do these things himself, is just as important.
Scotty, I do believe I'm rambling on also. Oh well let us be rambling fools... It keeps us sane.
Your friend in the Northern Hemisphere.
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