Friday Evening

The topic of this evening is my father. I am afraid to say that he is not doing well at all. The rehab center has told us that my father doesnt seem to be responding to the program the nurses has been running him through. In fact, they have called the doctor in to see him in the morning. They have not scheduled any more sessions for my dad until the doctor visits him. My father suffered a stroke or a series of them over the past few weeks. His brain seems at times to be sharp but other times he doesnt know where he is at. His left side of his body seems paralyzed. He does have some movement in them but not very much.

Tonight I had a heart to heart chat with my Mom. She told me that although she is hoping for the best, she is preparing herself for the worse and for me to do the same. To be honest, I have for some time. My father has not been the same for some time. Even before the lymphoma was diagnosed, something was definately wrong.

I spoke also tonight with my mother in law. My mother in law works in the medical field and is well versed in the legal aspect of what we are going thru. She works with death...literally...every day. She gave me some advice that I later discussed with my mom. My mother is holding up pretty good thru this but she is tired. I told her that as macabre as it sounds, we have certain things to do from a legal standpoint before the worse happens. I told my mother in law that this doesn't seem right to do all of this. She said she understands since she went through the same thing with her mother. However, it is smart to hope for the best, but prepare for the worse. I am going to try to take next week off so we can get some of this started since it will take a while to do.

I love my father very much and I hope and pray that he is with us for a long time to come. However, this is something my mother and myself have to do to protect everything he has worked long and hard for. I have never done anything that feels so wrong and right at the same time.